Tag Archives: humorous poetry

I Hate Autumn

Posted on September 22, 2016 by alicebarrett

I hate autumn. The colors, the wind, the chill, the wilted plants. Autumn is the drama queen of the year, Always in crisis, Flinging beauty about recklessly. . Autumn gets under your skin. Sneakier than winter, more glamorous than spring. … Continue reading →

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Tim and the Tiny Man

Posted on December 2, 2015 by alicebarrett

Tim looked down as he came over the knell And a tiny man with shears was squatting there. . Tim stopped in amazement and stared, And as he did, the tiny man leaned over his shadow. . Tim’s shadow stopped … Continue reading →

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A Bulwer-Lytton Children’s Poem

Posted on November 13, 2014 by alicebarrett

The Bulwer-Lytton Contest challenges writers to create the worst opening sentence to a novel, i.e. the inspiration for the contest: “It was a dark and stormy night….” For examples, go to  http://www.bulwer-lytton.com I was inspired by them to write a Bulwer-Lytton … Continue reading →

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Except

Posted on November 29, 2013 by alicebarrett

I’m a Christian, he wrote, except I’m an eye for an eye kind of guy. Yeah, I’m Leonardo DaVinci, I said, except I can’t draw. I’m Renee Fleming except I can’t sing. I’m a feminist except Poor women are ugly, … Continue reading →

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Skeleton Verse not

Posted on November 26, 2013 by alicebarrett

Skeleton Verse skeleton bones rattle as they roam ’til they come back home. the last time I saw one he. she, or it shone in the sun he, she, or it was having fun, until he, she, or it shouted … Continue reading →

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I’d like

Posted on November 22, 2013 by alicebarrett

I’d like a wind-up watch, they don’t need instructions. I’d like a key that isn’t a card, my Visa won’t open a door. I’d like a tan that comes from the sun, the liquid turns me orange. I’d like a … Continue reading →

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Gratitude in Three Stages of Life

Posted on November 20, 2013 by alicebarrett

Are you sure your friend knows that you like her? She helped you cheat on the history test, She distracted your mother as you went through her purse. Of all birthday gifts, hers was always the best. So take time, … Continue reading →

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Conspiracy Conspiracy

Posted on November 19, 2013 by alicebarrett

I now know the truth, I figured it out. There’s a New Wold Order, LBJ killed JFK, Paul is Dead and Jews conspire to rule. The army shot a plane down over Long Island Sound. The CIA caused 9/11, aliens … Continue reading →

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Poetry for Children

Posted on November 18, 2013 by alicebarrett

I sat down to read some poems for children. I’m shocked how the poets kill ’em: Falling out of their cradles, eating too much string, For laughing as a hearse goes by, Burned alive for telling a lie, Don’t forget … Continue reading →

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Surfeit of Nonsense

Posted on November 12, 2013 by alicebarrett

This morning I woke up with the word “surfeit” in my mind. No idea why. I couldn’t remember whether it meant too many or not enough. So I had fun with a thesaurus. This is a participatory poem. Add your … Continue reading →

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